


Surrender

by alldatwrite



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: AU, Dark Thoughts, Drabble, F/F, No Dialogue, Third Person POV, hurt and no comfort, mentions of BDSM, mentions of rough, post Neverland, toxic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-13
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-12 17:06:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29388153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alldatwrite/pseuds/alldatwrite
Summary: "Regina and Snow were not equals. Regina had surrendered to Snow. In spite of how much the worst part of the princess craved that, she was the hero, the good guy. No, she was a queen. She didn’t want a surrender; she wanted a submission. And submission included loyalty, love, trust. Submission was teamwork, a game, a safe space. Surrender was defeat, helplessness, power used to create pain, fear."Snow realises one day, as she looks down, that this is not real.
Relationships: Evil Queen | Regina Mills/Snow White | Mary Margaret Blanchard
Comments: 1
Kudos: 6





	Surrender

**Author's Note:**

> Did I just create a super abstract drabble with no context at all because I haven't uploaded my main story in ages and I am taking a short vacation and my muse for that is temporarily gone, so I keep having different pairings' ideas but they are limited and now I'm rambling? Perhaps.  
> As the story herself has no context, I will give you some: starts at neverland but becomes au with the missing year. SNow and Regina start a sexual relationship with clear power dynamics. Snow and David are history because she banged her stepmom in front of him (and everyone else). AU missing year as in they are back but they remember later the truth of the year, even if they can't leave the town. Emma and Henry are still gone and they don't remember who the rest of the people is.

It was part of the anger and the rage. The hate, the unbearable disgust for each other. As many things in life, it happened unexpectedly. It was something about the air, the leaves, the sky. It was something that draw them together, even if they had never parted ways. That night made a remarkable change in everyone’s reality; when Snow crashed her lips against Regina’s, their whole world changed drastically. That wasn’t love. That was sex, drugs, and rock and roll. And both women drew a thick veil over it, even though several lives had been shattered by an impulse.

They never spoke of it, of course, but then the missing year happened, and the surroundings were pushing them to _be_. Enemies, lovers, friends, allies. Any thing possible. And Snow didn’t think of the consequences, because she was burning with hatred, and the challenge was good enough. The familiarity of the pushes and punches was comforting, with her daughter away, her grandson away, and her husband away in a certain way. Because Regina would always put up a fight, and they were hurting, and she took great pleasure in winning each fight. Therefore, Snow continued with the charade of fake love -fake trust-, slapping and biting and scratching and hurting, because Regina had hurt her before, and it was her turn to return the favour.

Eventually, she realized it wasn’t real. There weren’t any real connections between her and the Queen. She didn’t love her, for love was out of their reach. She didn’t trust her, because she trusted no one.

It hit her like a damn lorry when she saw the brunette on her knees, sucking on her thumb and putting up a good girl face. It was lust, not love. It hit her even harder when she saw her crying, physically hurting as Snow fucked her with her whole fist, crying fat tears. She asked Regina is she was okay, if she wanted to stop, but the brunette brushed it off. She confessed, then, during the post climax haze, that she wanted to be hurt. She wanted to be distracted from her feelings, which flooded her every time Henry wouldn’t recognize her. She _begged_ her, with an uncharacteristical pout. “Hurt me, please”. She needed it, as much as Snow needed to hurt someone, anyone. And they were each other’s best options, because Snow had lost so much to Regina, even if she had been the one who kissed the Queen, the one who ended her marriage, and it was befitting of her to finally punish her. And Regina, who just wanted to be good, to stop hurting everyone around, just needed to be hurt, to be reminded of what her life had always been meant to be; it made sense, and the bandit took some time let that thought sink in.

Regina and Snow were not equals. Regina had surrendered to Snow. In spite of how much the worst part of the princess craved that, she was the hero, the good guy. No, she was a queen. She didn’t want a surrender; she wanted a submission. And submission included loyalty, love, trust. Submission was teamwork, a game, a safe space. Surrender was defeat, helplessness, power used to create pain, fear.

The bandit wanted the surrender, but the princess wanted the submission. Snow wanted Regina, and Regina just wanted to _stop_ feeling.

As comfortable as that reality would have been, it wasn’t moral. It wasn’t ethic.

You don’t hurt the people you love, even if they want you to hurt them

And Snow loved Regina, even if Regina couldn’t love. Given a choice, she’d rather have Regina’s indifference that Regina’s fear. She could stand the sassy remarks, the hurtful words, the disdain looks.

But Snow loved Regina, and she couldn’t rest in peace knowing that all those features would turn into quietness, tears, awareness, and fear.

And Regina didn’t love Snow, because she didn’t know what love was anymore. But given a choice, she’d rather be afraid that angry. Anger was consuming, exhausting. Fear was simpler. And to someone who just wants to stop thinking, that means a lot.

**Author's Note:**

> Don't ask me what this is, I just had this absurd idea in my head, where it looked spectacular. To be fair, it was smut, but I'm not good at writing that, so deal with it and complete the scene in your head. Oh, and thanks for putting up with my and my horrible 2 am ideas


End file.
